One word, one question, one thousand meanings.

-
Why?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Diary Entry- 10 years later

-
  Diary Entry — 10 Years Later It’s been ten years since I was 17 — a decade since the darkness touched my life in ways I never thought possible. The pain he left wasn’t just on my skin, marked by crescent moons and bruises, some deep enough to bleed; it settled deep inside me, in places unseen and often unspoken. Long sleeves and hoodies to hide the damage he once thrust upon me. Even in the heat of the dead of summer. To forget about it in hopes it never truly happened. He hurt me in front of others, turning moments that should have been safe into nightmares. The game he called  “fire truck”  wasn’t a game at all — “you can’t say stop. Fire trucks don’t stop at red lights”: it was a theft of my voice, my trust, my sense of self. My clothes torn, my spirit shattered, held down by someone I once trusted… someone I once loved. When he had his car accident- he blamed me for a life lost, the weight of guilt threatened to bury me. My mother asked that I show to his ‘get well ...
Read more

Diary Entry (Warning- SA)

-
June 26th, 2025 It’s been almost six years, and I still can’t breathe when I smell those Black Ice air fresheners. They’re everywhere — gas stations, the thought of them, sometimes even someone’s rearview mirror — and every time, it hits me like a sucker punch. August 2019. The bed of a 2019 Ram. The ridges digging into my back like teeth. I was 20 years old, wearing that orange Florida t-shirt — the one I never wore again. I remember the heat first. The sweat, thick and constant, sticking fabric to my skin. His grunts felt louder than anything, like they echoed inside my skull. My panic didn’t look like screaming or fighting — it looked like freezing. Going still. Going somewhere else. I had suggested it, I think. Losing my virginity, I mean. I was young, naive, and thought I should want it. I thought it would be some kind of step I had to take. So, when I first mentioned it, it was my voice, my words, my idea. But as soon as it started happening, I changed my mind. I said no. I wa...
Read more

For the ones untouched

-
 Sometimes I watch them—my baby nephew, my little sister—and I think, God, how beautiful it is to be so new to the world. Their laughter comes so easily. Their shoulders don’t know how to tense yet. Their eyes don’t scan for danger in every room. They don’t carry the heaviness I do, and I pray—honestly, I pray every day—that they never have to. It’s a strange kind of ache, loving someone that soft when you’ve lived through things that hard. Sometimes I catch myself just staring at them, memorizing how light they still are. How their smiles reach all the way to their eyes. How they can fall asleep without worrying if the door is locked or if someone will raise their voice tomorrow. How they are still untouched. They may still be tiny, but I still worry. And I think about myself at that age. I wonder when exactly it changed for me—when the air got heavier, when safety became a thing I had to chase instead of just feel. There’s grief in that. But there’s also this overwhelming, te...
Read more