Open Thoughts

Sometimes my mouth speaks quicker than my mind or heart can, and it is most definitely one of my greatest downfalls. Most times, I think heavily on subjects, but when —  if it comes down to speaking about it, my dumb ass leaves all the logical parts of me behind. I think —  when I speak like I do, I hurt more people by doing it, and in the long-run I hurt myself as well. What I do is unintentional with no malice behind it. If I may have hurt someone in the past with my mouth moving faster than my brain or my heart, I am sorry. And if I may hurt someone in the future with the same situation, I apologize in advance. We're all human, and we're all a bit of a mess.

 Ya know, I never really thought about why I have a blog. I mean, nobody ever sees it and I don't show it to other people (though maybe I should?). I've had this blog for over eight years now, and I have a total of three posts, make this one number four. I want to be more active on it for no other reason than to basically shit-post. I mean, my post aren't really shit... are they? I post what I have on my mind, or what I feel, or just something random. Why not? It gives people something to read (if they ever read it), kind of like a trashy magazine you open up at the laundromat to occupy your time. I plan now to be more active with my blog, even if it is just to benefit my mind. It's like reading my diary. You're welcome.

 I've experience grief in some form my entire life. Lose of pets, friends and family, but nobody really wants to talk about the grief of losing a child, unborn or not. Four years ago. That's all I can think about today. But this grief.... this grief I'll never be able to overcome. Four years ago this month of February my entire world changed. We said goodbye before we ever said hello. Baby Gray 2021 👼